Spoof Tube announcer goes overground

From Times Online

The voiceover artist who lost her job telling millions of Underground users to "mind
the gap" after publishing a host of spoof announcements on her website
is to take a job telling drivers what to do on SatNav instead.

Tube bosses last month refused to provide any more work for Emma Clarke, 36,
from Altrincham, after she criticised the system in a Sunday newspaper
interview, and sent up her role by placing the fake broadcasts online.

Ms Clarke was quoted as saying that while living in Highgate, North London,
she used to take the Tube every day, but had refused to use it any longer
because it was "dreadful". She claims her comments had been taken
out of context. However, it emerged today that she had now been hired to serve drivers on
SatNav, instead of Tube passengers.

"I'm really chuffed. This takes me overground from the train to the car.
Who knows what's next - cable cars perhaps?" she told Times Online.

Her boss Michael Kornhauser, Managing Director ALK Technologies, which designs
the CoPilot Live SatNav system, said that Ms Clarke had retained enthusiasm
for her job despite the blow of losing her Underground contract.

"Emma has a great voice and a fantastic sense of humour. She has turned
this situation around just by being herself," he said.

In one of the spoof Underground announcements published last month on her
website, she said: “Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage .
. . If you are female, smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He’s
probably not had sex for months.”

Peeping Toms were singled out in another message when she said: “Would the
passenger . . . pretending to read a paper but who is actually staring at
that woman’s chest please stop. You’re not fooling anyone, you filthy
pervert.”

The joke was not quite lost on the Tube bosses, who said that it was the
criticism of the Tube system, rather than the spoof announcements, that
sealed Ms Clarke’s fate.

Mind the gaffe: Ms Clarke’s spoofs

“Passengers are asked not to drop litter on the train. Please use the tramps
provided”

“Passengers are reminded a smile is a friendship signal, not a sign of
weakness”

“We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost
certainly talking too loudly”

“Would passengers filling in their Su Dokus please accept that they are just
crosswords for the unimaginative and are not more impressive because they
contain numbers.”

“Would the passenger in the pinstripe suit and £1,000 glasses who obviously
works in the media please take one step forward on to the track”